Bangalore blasts

we got the message while sitting at a Clinical case conference.
As of now 3:45 pm, there have been 7 blasts that's rocked around bangalore . And most of them near Christ college. all students are safe and not being let out of the campus for safety reasons. Latest news, the gates are open.
It's terror.
But there's singing practice for next week intra college competitions going on... people standing at the kiosk having coffee.. people calling up their parents ... many not getting network on airtel, and hutch .. spice network is working.
Why do people have to kill!

We stay united no matter what, whoever blasted. we will be as resilient as the Rajashthan people. We students, though, from different places and don't belong to B'lore will stay together and will not suspect each other. we will support each one of our fellow indians and keep the spirit and fight the evil forces.

Y knot.

Being a blessing, Needs hard work and humility

Music needs practice. And when you take time for music it turns out to be something blessed for the people who listen to those who play or sing. That's when you begin to feel like a dwarf in front of people who have spent time, rather taken time off to practice so that those who listen would be blessed.
I attended an evening service at the Christian Medical College Chapel a Bagayam. the service was beautiful, giving all praise to God and the choir, a breathtaking host (too small a group to use that word, still) of singers accompanied by a graceful pianist. The songs took a metaphysical tone once they started and all were led to praise God. I like to believe that, because I was.
Dr. Sujith Chandy, the choir master led the singing and read out one of the songs with the title, "Everyone needs Jesus". Besides a choir master, skilled and tasteful pianist, he is a humble and helpful man. We owe our internship to him since he was great help. His brother has been a blessed musician and my Guru. Sons of a priest. Yet another inspiring aspect about them.

The message was delivered by a surgeon who had no airs of being one and quite surprisingly gave a message summed up this way:

God created us to be a blessing rather than to be a popular person. That's why he created us and put us at the place we are. When we think fame and glory, we become arrogant.

It i in broken-ness that we are secure not in feverish effort to take control.
It is in being vulnerable that we find relationships.

People with great professions. Professional excellence. But none of that shown. Instead, hard work and lessons of humility.

Way to go, Y knot. you are not meant to be popular, but a blessing. I accept that.

rooting for fruiting

The youth camp was such a refresher. I hadn't gone for a camp for such a long time. It had been really long since I laughed so much with my friends. I must admit that I felt realy accepted and very much part of our youth group when they took liberties to pull a fast one at me very often, be it anybody. The boys, especially, were really cool and were wiling to get 'heard' for the stupid things they were doing and yet be friends with me. Another highlight of the fun part is nobody made me feel "so older than us" as I was being one among all. There was no difference. We played, messed around with each other and were still serious about Christian life. I loved it. But the drawback for which even I am responsible is that except one or two, our church frineds, including me hardly mixed up with people from other churches - something I had been vociferously opposing and disliking at other camps. This time, I was in and stayed in the group, except for the few but very good friendships I made. It neary felt like a parish camp to me, where I felt the need to get closer to my folks, so that certain things can be driven across, while even I kept learning various dimensions to the very principles I highlighted.And we played some awesome footbal. I realised my capabilities as a forward (Specially because of low stamina compared to others due to lack of play). We fought hard. he first day we lost 3-5. The second day, we change the strategy to ATTACk-ATTACk-ATTACk. We won 3-0 hands down. With some practie we can be a seasoned team as we coordinate so well on field. Spiritually, we dug our roots deeper. And that's what the camp what the camp was all about - Rooting for fruiting.

For the li'l one to know

It's been kinda weird off late. But then one thing I'm sure about is, we'll come out off it. Let it pass. I have faith. Stay the same. Don't worry.

Don't comment on this. : )

Sneaking in the library

Our library in the institution has setup (Since Jan) two computers for what they call "Quick reference". As all things that come free with this institution, there's this characteristic, traditional and inherently negative warning stuck next to the monitor, which I am not going to bother to write down here. Anyway, I think one's not supposed to browse, check email or chat (which is disabled like all other Java apps). What else do you do on the net? Yes, research. And Blog. Both haven't been mentioned here so it's cool. Planning to do this till the Librarian bothers to get and come to me and shout, usually without a clearcut reason posed in an indirect manner which English speakers call Sarcasm.I must vouch for one thing. The keys on the keyboard are so smooth that I feel like I am not making any typos.

The best friend who went crazy

Now he's out on the limb. It's not the pooint of no return yet, but, he's getting a slow rush in the heart.
And it's sad that another friend read what I wrote about him and misinterpreted it. Shame on you.
If you want to talk about what you are going through, I am ready. I'll be there.

Remembering about writing

I just purposely took a look at a brown paper covered book in which I used to write stuff. It lay among the many books which lay on my table like the compulsive shoppers at the Mall. Just there, thinking that they were actually satisfying themselves os someone else... I used to write stuff. Just stuff. What I felt like, what inspired me etc. My poems , my short stories which were terribly short...
I realised that I hadn't written anything creative in the past 8 months. Of course a couple of rap verses, but no prose, no poem. I had a lot of inspiration and and a lot of thoughts, But I really did not get the time. I am honest. Some say if you really wanted it , you coulod make time. I agree... may be it wasn't a priority, or may be I didn't want it as badly as I wanted to breathe (analogy courtesy: Socrates).

I sat on the bed with the book .
I had been reading everyuthing else but my text books for the past pone week - since the time I had got study holidays.
So I sat to write. And I wrote. I wrote about what I want to write.
I wrote that I had not written in a long while.
I wrote what I felt.

Felt good to write again. I am not a great writer. But I write. Who can stop me?

By the way, the largest number of posts were posted on my blog in 2007. Perhaps there is a correlation?
No.

U.R. enlightening

When Prof. U.R. Ananthamurthy spoke, on college day, many people sat talking, inside the auditorium. Many complained of his incoherence. But what I loved was his flow from one thought to the other. His thought pattern was like a cool breeze. The impression I had about him, which was formed from the time he argued for re-christening banmgalore into Bengalooru, the local langugae (Kanada) equivalent, was that of a progressive social reformer with a conservative edge.

But when he spoke on Monday, the 10th of March, his words had a sort of coolness to it. Wisdom flowing from a wise man.I was learning. I sat and listened to him, trying to catch every word over the mumbling and grumbling of the MBA students sitting in front of me.
The following are some of the thoughts which struck me most:]

• Wisdom appears passive
• In order to stay young, it is important to be humble. Then there will be, always, something yet to learn, yet to know, yet to experience, yet to be reached
• One must learn to be quiet within oneself. It makes you more productive and enrich you.
• Thinking, reflecting, debating, etc. are important things in life, or else you'll just be toeing someone else's line.
• We have multiple identities (like student, son, a software engineer, a Maharashtrian, a poonawalla, an Indian, etc.) which are continuous. All that is part of the same person and ought to be respected that way. That's were growth, development, exchange, peace, etc. prevails.
• One needs to stay rooted where he is ,and yet be progressive and modern in his/her approach

Mr. U.R., thank you for coming and letting your thoughts flow.

Thank you Lord.

Thank you Lord for
Thanks for the compassion, the ever surrounding love, the care, the smiles and nudges.
The wake up calls, assurances, faith, hope, belief which is beyond belief, maturity.
The knowledge and passion for you. The talent, calmness, simplicity and the beauty that comes through it. Thank you for the gift though I don't deserve. For the resolve in times, good and bad. For the clinging on even when things go rough.
You know it best. Your plans rock, although they may not seem great in the beginning.
I'm in awe of you.
വളരെ നന്ദി.

Best friend going crazy

this guys gone nuts over this girl n the worst part is she's in a relationship with another guy. It's alright, this guy is successfully wooing her. David and Uriah? May be a bit too far fetched. No, not at all. this guy is crazy. I'm speaking to him write now and he's watching me type. He's got his reasons, which are all clever as he is. I'll whack you, man. Leave the girl and him alone. Find another girl. there are so many around. I'll help you. He's still laughing. Can you hear him?

stand up and breathe

Surprises me to find that I haven't been to el profesors blog for a long time. Surprises me that sis wrote such a sweet poem for... Surprises me that there's nearly no time to blog. Surprises me that I got back to reading books.

I'm worried what sis is feeling. Worried that I'm not able to practice with BHL. Worried about Research methods and Bio Psych exams, though they are over a month away. Worries me that I still haven't achieved or stuck to my goal for the academic year. Worried that no one is able to see Christ Through me coz a good life is not being led. Worried that I'm angry so quickly. Worried that there is no balance in the phone. Worried that I can't talk to her face to face or over the phone.

Glad that there's a living God. That Sovereign God is in control of everything. Let me stand up and breathe.

Blogging away

As many of you might agree, running a blog when you don't have an internet connection of your own can be a drag affair. Running to a cafe every time you derive inspiratiopn. The problem aggravates when you don't have a computer either. May be this speaks about my dying passion for blogging. Not that nobody at all reads this blog. It's just that time - something very elusive - needs to be spent on it. You need to have the energy when you have those lovely ideas and thoughts, to type them down and then load it up. Is this the marker of the death of a 5 year old blog?
Ding dong,
ding dong,
ding, ding, ding ding ding ding ding ding...
The death knell sounds.

Or am I reading too much into it?

letting the candle shine

Letting the candle shine

 

 

 

( date: 2 weeks ago)

My sister called me. She sounded very angry and frustrated. I had never heard so angry before, so I wondered what could have caused this possible outburst. It was something that had happened during the day which caused her to "burst her top" like this. I did not ask her to calm down but let her narrate everything.

The story was nothing simple, though it would have warranted stern request to calm down from her closest friends. On the face of it, the story could e simply thrown off as frustration and venting out. But there was something much deeper too it. Really deep. Through t all, I could see my reflection in it floating through the story. An image which gave me difficulty in deciding whether it belonged to her or me. It was an image with both minds fused together. The same thought, the same philosophy, the same pain in seeing that nobody wanted to make difference when the power lay in their hands, the same ache and guilt of having power but being unable to take a positive step with it… Was it I or her in the image? Was it her story or mine?

Is there a realm where minds are collective? Are there sub realms where some minds are grouped together?

It was not a story of giving up her power or authority, but one of trust and holding on to ones principles, no matter whatever it took. She could not embrace something that went against her conviction. She stood for it. She knew the responsibility given to her. She knows. She works hard. She's in the thick of things. But after having done her responsibilities, her opinion was overridden. No, this is not ego. She has accommodated it many times. But this time it is crucial. I don't think anyone in the office knows the job better than her, solely because she's at the helm of things and makes sure everything happens smoothly. So she knows everyone, deals with every one. People on top needn't know everyone. So she's given the job. I don't know why the top brass does not come out of the cocoon. My be it's security and an unwillingness to take a risk. 'Better to use the tried and tested'.

 True. Fine. But they are in the groups. Just that another person is given an opportunity to be tried and tested today.

She argued, fought and was respected for her arguments. No girl stood before the Top and argued and went away to come back. But Top knows her and has seen her and probably knows that in quite a long time, it is going to be difficult to get somebody as efficient and dedicated to the job as her. But he could be scared. He could be worried. But that does not let her compromise her principles. She stands for them. Even when she thinks she's alone. She's strong and she's grown stronger in the past year.

I don't know if she knows, but it's amazing how I see myself in her many times. And I love her. Not because I see myself in her, but because she is a woman of substance. There is hardly any of her kind when I pass through life's roads. And I respect her for that, love her for that. Stand strong, lady. As long as I can, I'll be around. God bless you, my sister.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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To take a stand and keep your back straight.

I heard a story of indecent behaviour. It was a a continuation of the same story of which one of my friends had to say. A disastrous shameless tale of exploitation. And when it comes to men of God, they're featuring in the news more and more today. I hope this one teaches them a lesson.

"Men of God" should not touch a woman with wrong intentions. I don't care what their take is, but it is wrong and it is shameless when they continue to do it over the years.
Many stories, or may be all of them have been swept under the carpet. I hope this one doesn not and that proper action will be taken. It needs to be taken.
Women's voices should be heard ut loud - to bring out the hyppocricy, ofthe men behind excellence and Service.

I support you women and am planning to do something about it.

The restructuring

In the attempt to give a new look to my blog, I forgot to save my pals' links to their blogs. I've been working on this blog like that from the time my blog got its new Pyjamas.
Today I sat, tracked down and added all my favourite blog addresses. I had felt out of touch.
Today I feel more complete than yesterday.
Keep in touch guys.

Agreeing with Shaggy

Being in a class full of girls and just another boy besides me wasn't the tough job which I thought it to be. The semester was a lot of fun, though I miss being with a couple of guys and doing boys kinda stuff.
But 'em girls can put a smile on your face, you know. They're all very funny people.

It was study hols preceding the sem exams and noone from class had messaged me in a long time after the practical exams. 'That's why you need to have boys in class so that you could keep calling or get calls', I said to my self. I also suspected that everyone was deeply immersed in their photocopies of the exam portions that no one had time to even care for a boy in class. The other guy, the Holy father, at the end of the week texted me and I became very happy. He was sharing the same fate as me and was in, perhaps, a situtation worse compared to mine.

Then I came to college one day and met many of my class mates. Some of the reactions (to me and amongst themselves, loudly)
"Why are you looking so tensed? Don't worry..."
"Poor thing he's lost so much weight, what happened to you ?"
"I think it's because he shaved of his French beard, he's looking weaker."
"No, I think he looks nice with the clean face."
"How can he lose weight? He's already under weight. He can't lose anymore."

One of my juniors to whom I was talking, heard this and gave me a look which said, "Now I know what happens in class."

I was very amused. Found it very funny that they noticed and talked about my weight. Did they actually care about all this? It felt very nice. That morning one of the mates called from Chennai saying that she was forgetting everything she'd learnt and whether I displayed the same symptoms (Exam induced Amnesia, I suspect).

Women. I really find it difficult to understand them. Still a mystery.

Into the skin of sports

It was such a joy to have gone on a pinic last week. It had been ages since I had gone for one and felt it was a welcome break. Youth from church is an awesome bunch to go with. We played a variety of sports from morning till lunch and a for a while in the afternoon.

One of the things that struck me most was the commitment and enthusiasm Mary (her beautiful name changed here) showed towards the sports that we were playing. While many girls did play and worked hard to win points to their respective teams, Mary was all out there, yelling, screaming, asking for passes, running endlessly, passing on tactics to team mates, falling down and getting back up... she was in the thick of it. A true sports person. I had not seen someone like that in a long while. Some one, who would at that age be so active and give her best in to the sport. It was a joy to watch her play. Never giving up, never showing her tiny bruises to anyone and crying for sympathy...no. Mary was just playing her game. She further brightened my already lit up day.

When she fiinished a match of Koko, I called her and gave her a hug and said, 'Keep it up; it's a joy to watch you play.' She smiled and went off to drink water.
It was Mary. A girl who challenged every stereotype about how a girl should be while playing sports. A girl who didn't think that she had to be quiet and in the sides of a game, in which a lot of boys were roughing it out. She fought. Fought like a woman, with dignity and courage and never kept quite.She pushed, thugged, perspired and played her game, very fairly. The best part is that she never cared who the opponent was. She was a player, and she played and never cared who came her way.

Thank you for inspiring me.

For the fire foxes who love music

http://www.foxytunes.com/

Gasping till you breathe

No time. Not time to study. No time to read books. No time to enjoy the breeze. No time to read the Bible and Our Daily Bread. Not time to pray, or too tired to, by the end of the day. Not time to read editorials. No time for a movie (1 hour 40 minutes is too long to waste). Just enough time to sleep but still sleepy. No time to sit on facebook. No time for chatting. No time to surf the net. No free time but only practicals records to complete. No time to Xerox notes. No time to read computer magazines. No time read current affairs. No time to draw, no time to sketch. No time to read comic books. Interesting articles pending, piled up ion my bed. No time to clean the room .Tired. When do I relax. Am I relaxing too much. No time for social service. No time to go stitch my suit. No time to complete a book. No patience. In the middle of that comes a free hour. teacher absent.

Don't know what to do. I waste time.
I can't complete my work. I hardly make it on time to class. I'm tired of travelling by bus. I hate those stares and whispers when I jump the wall to the resdidential complex, an easier route to the bus stop. I hate the extra time that travelling by bus takes; and all those stamping of dirty shoes on my newly pressed trousers. No time to completely give to church. No time to email. No time to speak on the phone because its taking the time belonging to something else. No time and I am not gasping for breath. Because I don't know what to do when free time suddenly appears in front of you.

Life. I am confused.

Pasta and White sauce

The other day, my friend from class offered me a bit if Pasta which she proudly said she had made. It was covered in White sauce, which she had, again, made herself (I asked her that because I was curious). It was simply delicious and I really loved it. Knowing that she is a very nice girl, I asked her to make some for me and bring it one day for lunch. She sweetly agreed. But a thought struck me. I was very impressed at her cooking skills. She's my age and already knows how to make stuff like this. "Where am I?", I thought to myself. Do I know to make anything like that? Where did she learn it from? Some days back I could hear a couple of girls in my class express how they loved baking cakes. I just don't know what proportion of sugar and butter to use, how much baking powder, what the heat should be, etc. When did they learn all this?

I am certainly not jealous. I truly appreciate stuff like this, even if the cooking went a bit bad. Just the fact that they were able to make something makes me happy too.

Just that... when will I ever learn all this? Simple things like baking a cake, stiching buttons on my own shirt, making some white sauce, being really good at something...?
It is kind of agonising when you realise time is flying past and that it is a short life and if you didn't have time till now, perhaps you never will.

In the meanwhile, I shall look forward to eating some more of Pasta and white sauce which she will bring me for lunch.