On the other side of the encourager.

It's a different story when you go through an experience which you saw you friend going through. It's altogether a life changing moment.
When your friend is in trouble, surely,you feel the pain. Not the way, they feel it, but just a part of it. It's important to feel it, if you are a true friend. What do we do then? We offer all the encouragement and support we can. Shower them with promising words and great quotes. When you finally see them smiling, you feel great - you could bring a smile on their face.

But when you go through it? Yikes! All hell has broken loose, there's no redemption anymore, it's the end of the world, or even my life... how do I move on?.....etc, etc. Isn't it? That's when you find your friends going, "O come on, things will go away, don't be sad (What????), we all go through this (thanks a lot!), We are there (where ?).... " (Just the thing you'd been doing). Now, you wish they weren't showering all those positive thoughts on you. All you would want to, is sit by your friend. Pour your heart out, and expect the friend (that true friend), to listen. Just listen. It might be boring. But listen. Well, aren't I being selfish here? That's my point. I am. Being on the side of problems, is a different story. It's easy to sit and just make yourself feel good by encouraging that person. But that need not be exactly what your friend wants, though you might feel good doing so.

So when we go through a problem ourselves, we get to understand how the other person feels, deep inside. We learn how to react, how to sit quiet and how to just be there. It is a very humbling experience. Very humbling. You come face to face with the 'you' which you didn't know about might get surprised and feel ashamed. But it changes you . And changes you for the better.

Life's troubles are welcome learning experiences, minus the tuition fees. How am I taking it?