My new Addiction

You are my new addiction,
You are subtle and invigorating, going straight up the arteries
To the heart and then the brain.
Endearing it feels as I crack open the barriers
Letting you in, and myself out
We crossing each other on the airwave highway
I bet we'll keep crossing
But after that?

I just don't know.
It feels like before, but very very different
There's the explosive potential,
To grow, to deepen, to shape, to shine
And it scares me how it will end
There have been accidents before on this highway
And my 'caution' board hangs dusty, that
All I do these days is just ignore
At great risk ( and that's predictive)

Do I need to know where it goes?
Or do I do a Suji, " We'll see where it goes"?
Do we always need to know the end?
( as if we always know what the end is)
And why should there be an end?
Mama, your voice keeps coming back
And I shake my head
No. I want to prove you wrong,
As I don't want to have a life where relationships are shallow
And not 'not go so deep so as to not feel hurt. . . '

Feeling hurt means I went quite deep
Deep enough to risk being hurt
But the one's that have hurt me
I am still holding on
Even if the feelings aren't the same.

Why would the feeling have to change?
Is it bound to happen?

You are my new addiction,
Though you aren't brand new,
It was built over time with some deep values
So I wish that this addiction will stay
Or that I accept when the nature of the addiction changes

Oh God, I'm going to feel hurt again.