Sailing with arms open wide.

Sailing with arms open wide.

The afternoon was just amazing. The cliched shady tree, cool breeze and children playing in front of you, is an awesome mood setter in real life, if not on paper.
The stories of a twisted and wrenched heart poured out. The background, how people never understood, prejudices, hopes and dreams, the shouldering of familial responsibility... it all just flowed. And in between, the love of the life.
It was never obvious. At least between them. Or, to them. But like I would explain to my super liberal modern brother and sister-in-law, the piture was drwn in front of me, giving dtailed reasons of why it would only remain a dream and nothing more. The words reflected maturity, sensibility and pragmatism. But the very words spelt backwords betrayed a wish, a longing- " If ever you come to me, my arms would be wide open, and I would receive you."
Though a sailor on another boat myself, I'm still not able to see the other coast or the tiny rays from the light house, though I felt it was time to have seen it. Perhaps, I might have to miss that spectacle and leave my fellow sailor to find his way across the sea. One thing I know fellow sailor man, though you don't see the shore, it's definitely worth the wait.

Sankara Mankranthi (Ask BHL)

Telling off people isn't easy. Especially when they are in a group where they're not supposed to be. IF you're able to sense that you don't belong there at that moment, and slightly strain your brains, you could avoid much humiliation, maintain self esteem, mind your very own important business, etc.

So my brothers (Cool quote:"You're my brother of another mother" - Courtesy: Daffy) and this low profile guy walk to the kiosk at college, planning to go through the second round of discussions regarding songs and their selection, for the Music competition. Suddenly, i hear a row of "Uh-oh"s and "Faster, faster"s, being mumbled.
Too late.
"Hi................................................!!!!"
Wonder what those frogs think when they gulp down 5 feet snakes with much difficulty. Surely they must think in between, "Man this is more than a mouthful; but there's now way out now". So they carry on. So did we.

The further walk made me feel that I was doing the green mile, or even worse was being sent out of the library for talking. She stuck around. We wondered how to tell her off. Politely. But assertively. She wasn't meant to be there. She should have realised that! Acting like Willy Lowman (from the play 'Death of a Salesman'), she thought that she was meant to be there and was an integral part of what was happening.
At the kiosk table, I signalled the brother and Frankfinn. They signalled me.

4:15 pm.

The meeting was supposed to start at 4:05.
No more waiting. "Shall I?" I asked in code language Mal. They sang back their enthusiastic approval in the the same universal code.
"Uh..Sankranthi, do you mind? We're having a band meeting. See you on Tuesday, yeah?"
Seemed like she'd heard the loudest thunder bolt in all her life. Didn't mean it to be that way. But it was important and had to be done.
"Ok........................!!!!!!See ya!!! bye!!!"
There she goes, there she goes again.

We celebrated as if it were Holi. My hand was shaken and the boldness appreciated, by the bros and the finn.
Sorry Sankranthi, we just had to.

We spend. So what's wrong?

Our neighbours, next door...what a life! Made me think.

Imagine you're all so grown up with a family and all. You aren't too well off, financially. You've got a kid whose school fees reaches somewhere near half your salary. What will you do when something like a school trip or a requirement examination fees come up? Waht do you feel then? Would you like to go ask your friendfor money or would you think, thoug I'm so old, I can't even run my family's expenses! What's my wife going to think about all this? Will she wonder whther she made a mistake by marring you? What 'll your kids think? Will you think of yourself as incapable of running a family?

Today we spend lavishly on our parents money. We believe they are earning it all for us, and spend as if we earned up all that money. New clothes every month, compulsive shopping, eating out many times, 3-4 movies a month. We spend without shame.

When we are our parents age, would we want our children to live that way? Think for a moment.

*****

Now. What do we know about not having any money in hand?

Nothing.

Because, there was never a time we couldn't find less than 10 bucks in our wallets for more than 24 hours. Do we know what it is like, when on the 10th of the month, you'll have to live on 100 Rupees for the rest? The 'Computer Fundamentals' book for IVth sem costs over 100 rupees.

Lilly Aunty is crying. She doesn't know what to do. Her daughter scores well in her exams. She wants to go for science in College. But where is she going to get Rs. 15,000 from? Her husband is in uwait, but doesn;t earn enough money to send home (And people go: He's in Kuwait and I'm not gonna help 'em). The youngest daughter needs to but a new uniform, as she's entering the 5th std. in June and needs to replace her 2 year old uniform. Where is all the money coming from?

Lilly Aunty, our neighbour, is crying.

She isn't all that poor or below poverty line (BPL). But htey have expenses to meet their requirements for a life in a place like this. she came from a family which had just the basic things.Where is she going to go for money. She runs a mess just outside her house where IT and BPO employees who stay near by come and eat from. The income goes, as it is for the house rent which is Rs.2500 for such a dingy place.

Will she have to tell her daughter, heart broken, that they don't have enough oney to send her for further studies, so sit at home? Even if she borrows money, how will she pay back? the girl (daughter) can't even imagine buying new clothes from commercial street once in a year, let alone the half price sale once a year. 30 rupees for a coffee seems insane to her mother- no question of going out with friends. TV. What TV? No money to pay the cable network.

Is it possible to live like that? Of course it is.

But in a society where you look around and see everyone showing off one thing or the other; the same 3-4 years old dresses which your friends make fun of you about?...It's difficult. You're the only one out. It's tough.

Perhaps friends, we need to be more considerate.Everyone is not as fortunate as us. When we spend money, let's just give it a thought. Do I really need what I'm buying? Does it give me any satisfaction? Are these these the things that make me happy? Is my happiness based on what I possess?

***

(Lilly -name changed- stays next door to us)

***

Harshly critical and straight-from-the-heart comment/ difference of opinions solicitted from all. Please respond with your thoughts on spending.

I'd Specially like to hear from Antares on the web, Blueplush and Romali Roti.

Have I?

Tired. Very tired.

Today...how many 'todays' have gone by! Is there any development happening?
Have I made anyone happy today?
Have I smiled at someone today?
Did I keep my word today?
Did I come on time today?
Were I able to carry out all my responsibilities today?
Phew!

I'm tired again.

We know what you did when you didn't have a platform ticket - Part 2

If you haven't read Part 1, please read that and if you haven't slept by then, come back and read this.

* * * * * * * *

In amazement, we saw the train on the adjacent platform moving.

Railway full joking joking in the night also.

We continued. Now you are bored, I am bored.

We had a exchanged our byes, best of lucks, happy journeys, half an hour before. Still, we persisted to stay on till the train left.

* * * * * * * * * * *

11:50 pm. After sirens on every platform but ours, thhe train slowly started moving. another round of byes and all the pleasantries, to our dear friend accompanied by his students, one by one, Ragu, Bhupati, the Russian and I jumped in cinematic style to the platform, as the train gathered pace. A grandma sitting on the platform gave a look with her a jaws parting to either side, seemingly saying "Freakin' Devil! What on all earth were those?"

We didn't pay attention.

Up the Sabarimalai style stairs and on the way to 'Destination: Outside the station'. I just casually mentioned that we hadn't taken platform tickets and slipped into conversations of societal development, economic policy, a better India, misgivings in the education system, philosophy, globalisation, ticket examiners,......Did I say ticket examiners?? Even before we could say that, a white shirt and a black suit, with a man in them appeared before us with hands wide open saying the words 'platform ticket'.

Now.

The platform number written in red.

Not being able send messages from the 3310.

The train getting late.

It was midnight.

To Thomas Hardy, it would have been a perfect setting for a targedy to happen and so it was for me too. The tragedy already happened, as the "external forces" had indicated. "Tess of the D'urbervilles" (Hardy's character in th book of the same name), was alone to suffer everything. I had company.

We stood there.

* * * * * * * * *

Ten minutes later, we were still standing there.

* * * * * * * * *

FINALLY, twenty minutes later............................., we still stood there.

(continued in Part 3)

We know what you did when you didn't have a platform ticket - Part 1

A lovely night. Beautiful beyond cliches. It was time to say bye to our dear teacher and friend, Mr. Andy Neck, one of the people because of which our exchange programme rocked.

The train's at 11:30.

We were there at 10:15

Hundreds of people were already there at..... God knows what time.

Anders and I checked the capricious electronic board for the right platform. It showed 4 against Guwahati express, in crimson red. The sign of danger. I should have realised that.

Platform ticket? Bhupati would come and buy it, I thought. Anyways its night time.

The fatal flaw.

********

Bhupati, with an appreciable build and the air of a builder (body) was standing with the other guys , guarding the luggage and engaging the peace loving Norwegian students. As soon as we got back- the luggage seemed to have got heavier- we picked up the bags and began climbing the stairs of 'Majestic' railway station, which was obviously in a drastic condition and reminded me of a friend's description of the "18 steps" in Sabarimalai. These steps, really, are not meant for young men above 60 carrying heavy bags.

********

It was nice to sit an talk in the train for an hour. Laughter in English and Norwegian echoed in our little compartment. "The Russian", kept blinking like an alien hearing Malayalam on planet Zonga. Suddenly,the train began moving!

And then it stopped.

Perhaps, they were checking the disc brakes.

(Do they have them, anyway?)

We fell on our backs into conversation. Ragu stood there looking into oblivion as if seeing something, which only he could. There wasn't anything there. I checked, twice.

A siren whined, gradually reaching 1-60km in just 2.5 seconds. The Russian stared at me and I stared back. We were in the middle of the crowded carriage. "This is it", we chorused and turned to jump out of the carriage when , to our amazement......!

(Continued in part II)

The 3310 (end of story)

Took it because , there were the needs. It's fine so far. I miss telling people "No, I don't have a mobile". Surprisingly, there have been a lot of plus points! Friends whom I thought that I wouldn't keep in touch often because i had a to keep calling them, are now just a few buttons away. Literally on my finger tip. Cool. In the beginning, you expect a call every minute, just because the phone is yours. Slowly, you begin to realise that call's are almost just as much as it would be on the landline, only that you know its for you. Honestly, I feel uncomfortable telling people "I have a phone" or even being caught talking on the phone somewhere. Don't know. May be because I'm not used to it. Personally, it feels very childish to talk about all this. Sometimes I re-read the previous entry and realise, perhaps I aren't all that mature as I thought to be. But change comes with life, doesn't it? Something that Mr. Pinto said in the English Literature class today struck me : "It's beaurocrats who desist change". Questions regarding whether I should care two hoods about his opinion is another totally different discussion. Let's see. I'm experimenting with life. It'll go on till the validity of this recharge gets over.

mobile: y/n?

A free phone.
(Thanks to Cherry's faithful ol' 3310)
A free sim card.
(Thanks to Sanjay switching over to Hutch)
Turning into the zillionth mobile phone user in India: y/n?
Do I need one? Friends say yes. Parents say think. I say no.
It's useful when you're in-charge of something, or organising something.

Do I need one at the moment?
No, the phone in the PG's enough. I love it when they call out "____, phone for you". When you have a mobile, you know the call is always for you; there's no suspense.

Am I anti-mobile?
How can I be! Even I'm dependent on it. Don't know where the Acappella team would have landed withouth Phani's 9886621480; the journalism Dept. fest organised by our class - In Print
- without Sawadees take- the-phone-for-the-day- and -you-better-pay-me-later offer, and various such instances.

So am I going mobile in Jan?
(Think, man, think...Use the yorr caamon senses)

It's amazing what we can accomplish
when you don't care who gets the
credit.

Blessed Eve.

What a blessed evening it was! God used the Life4orce band to minister all the glory and praise due to the almighty. Unlike last time, I was able to involve myself and worship.

This is how the arrangement was :
Vinay (Worship leader & Bass)
Binny (Acoustic Guitar)
Cherian (Guitar)
George (Drums).

The songs were around 12 starting from Life4orce original " Jesus and me" to ending with a bash with "You have turned...". the sounds system was a amazing. Good supervising Vinay!

Cherry spoke from the word of God too, based on John chapter 15:4,5 - "Bearing Fruit". It was a nice way of informally, at same time maintaining the seriousness, preaching. The sermon was loaded with stories and real life experiences. He played some amazing solos in between the songs along with singing parts. His face brightened up when the fast songs came.

Vinay once again led a blessed praise and worship, and this time, he spent a considerable amount of time getting the crowd to feel part of the whole thing and to keep them on their feet. He made them turn around and wave hands , especially in "You have turned my mourning into Dancing". He was able to bring them back to the solemness of worshipping God in the later part of the worship as well.

Binny, stood as a true "Band Architect" (his post in the band!) and I felt he had stepped back a little , which balanced the whole team . Though a great worship leader himself, he humbly stood by managing the the guitar and singing important parts, you need lots of humility for that . 'Praise and worship's led by him couple of years ago were my first experiences in being part of it and played a part in bringing me closer to the almighty.

Vinay had a surprise for me on Saturday evening when we met for practice : An electronic rhythm pad instead of the Acoustic Drum kit we had planned for. He said that the the guy at the rentals said that his wife had lent it to someone without his knowledge ! Sounded like a hilarious reason. Trusted in God and gave it a try. Haven't used it on a stage before. It sounded good (they say, except or the missing beats due to a "beaten up " Roland SPD11 ). The other one would've been better but looked like God wanted us to try this one out. We tried the next afternoon to get hold of one but His plans were different. Anyways, it was a blessed pleasant evening. Praise to the heavens,yeah?

Guys (my life4orce bandmates and good friends), it was wonderful. I enjoyed it and hope to do many more. When do we start working on our songs? I'd like to start learning the Life4orce songs and their instrumentation. An album in 2005 is a desire, Insha Allah. Pray and WORK HARD towards it , yeah?
JESUS INSPIRES.

On the other side of the encourager.

It's a different story when you go through an experience which you saw you friend going through. It's altogether a life changing moment.
When your friend is in trouble, surely,you feel the pain. Not the way, they feel it, but just a part of it. It's important to feel it, if you are a true friend. What do we do then? We offer all the encouragement and support we can. Shower them with promising words and great quotes. When you finally see them smiling, you feel great - you could bring a smile on their face.

But when you go through it? Yikes! All hell has broken loose, there's no redemption anymore, it's the end of the world, or even my life... how do I move on?.....etc, etc. Isn't it? That's when you find your friends going, "O come on, things will go away, don't be sad (What????), we all go through this (thanks a lot!), We are there (where ?).... " (Just the thing you'd been doing). Now, you wish they weren't showering all those positive thoughts on you. All you would want to, is sit by your friend. Pour your heart out, and expect the friend (that true friend), to listen. Just listen. It might be boring. But listen. Well, aren't I being selfish here? That's my point. I am. Being on the side of problems, is a different story. It's easy to sit and just make yourself feel good by encouraging that person. But that need not be exactly what your friend wants, though you might feel good doing so.

So when we go through a problem ourselves, we get to understand how the other person feels, deep inside. We learn how to react, how to sit quiet and how to just be there. It is a very humbling experience. Very humbling. You come face to face with the 'you' which you didn't know about might get surprised and feel ashamed. But it changes you . And changes you for the better.

Life's troubles are welcome learning experiences, minus the tuition fees. How am I taking it?

What's been happening in my room...

Well, it couldn't been anything boring as this.

It's never worth to wait for the exams. I learnt that we should move on with life and do the things that you have to do and sit and study. Friendsin class think I've been studying. I wish I was. It didn't take more than 2 seconds for mind to wander off to _______ while I had fat notes on "Infancy" (Psy) in front of me.

By the way, it feels good to sit there with all those notes in front of you even if you aren't actually even turnin' a page. Thank God for the power cuts. That's when I realise that TV's dont work without electricity and a book would land in my hand. I'd discover chapters which we never came across and read them and discover how interesting they would be when taught perhaps in the next semester.

I've also discovered the medicinal and Psychological positive effects of an afternoon nap after having a simple lunch watching TV. Hats off to you guys, who've been staying in hostels and Peejees and still scored above seventy percent and stuff. Wonder how you did that. From today on, I'll become a new person - punctual, responsible, respectable, up to the mark. Now I wonder how many times I took this decision this week.....Was it 6 or 7?

Serving means thinking about others' needs
and serving at their level.

Nearing.

Nearing the end of today...

Nearing the dark night - not tired. The next day is not awaited , but that may be the only way to sooth the sores: sores which were caused by the end of today. Today was great; almost every minute of it. Few minutes were boring, many minutes were of learning.The time past has opened my eyes, I should say. Tomorrow will be a new day, a day which will go a different way. the reason is that today, I started thinking, realising, breaking the mold and wiped the blurred glass and looked through the clean one. The glass isn't clear yet: it will be soon, I'm still at it. The end of the day is always the most enjoyable and unforgettable part. Thinking about tomorrow at that time will be depressive.

Bad Surprise

Told couple of my friends that I've been revamping the blog. True, that's what's been happening. But never got to fill it with anything interesting. Well, it doesn't quite matter.

A' like it without them Disclaimers.

Things are slowly coming up. The first one I had is still there and it's a lot of fun with it. Xanga is smashing. Lots more facilities over there. If any of you guys don't want links to your blogs from here, just say a word and it shalt be removed (no hard feelings).

Peace.
(That signing out style remind me of a clever chap who signed off a letter saying "In Harmonium". When the enquiries reached the bloke he asked, it seems, " Then what's the noun form of harmony, mate?")

Yo peoples,
Have a look at the chatterbox thing at the left bottom corner.

"Why doncha say somethin' ba-ffor ya leave?"

Savner dae

Miss you. I know I shouldn't, for the sake of tomorrow, for your good and mi good ; but can't help it. For everything you've done, for all the patience, for understanding.Tussen takk.

Du e min lille sol strolle

Elsker deg.

Ja-ki-Jaan?

You can't be from this universe. How do you do that?

Mr. Chan smiles even when his arms are broken after jump from a ten story building. Guess what he's upto?

Preparing for a re-take of that shot.

Paul McCartney
Former Beatles member.

Yo, he's the bassist,man.













www.paulmccartney.com

the image that shocked yo

Boy, that was an awesome festival . Bass, managing two groups, other commitments, relationships. Mapa were extra cool about it. God's blessed yo. It passed by, just like any other time in life. So life needs some tidying up, planning and execution. Let's see. Socks all pulled up alright.